that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
