Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Operation Purity has been aborted
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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