So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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