how do flat chested girls get laid?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
