i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
