he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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