by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize