Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm passing your future prison.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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