It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
