He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
