Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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