Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
drinking out of a sandbucket again
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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