So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
