I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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