That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
