Swine flu is the new snow day.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
