I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
