there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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