I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
