**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize