You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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