But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
