It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
