so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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