imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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