why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
