R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Someone came in the potted fern
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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