But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize