Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
