Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
