So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He has the fingertips of a God
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize