alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
