I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
