I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
