who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
two words: eviction party
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
