you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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