Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
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