all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He felt like a one man threesome
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize