just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
