Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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