Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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