Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
