I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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