in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
