he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
