someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
