Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
