He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
