I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
