Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
