everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize