bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
