if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
