what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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