I got chris browned last night
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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