oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
