HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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