Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize