Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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