i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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