you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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