Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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