i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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