We're facebook friends in real life
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
