Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
