this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize