The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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