Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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